Selfish?

I was once someone who is really generous and helpful towards others until one day I decided that I need to stop being a people-pleaser and do whatever they tell me to do.
I was always the one who finish my homework and borrow others to copy before handing in.
What my friends need to do is just to ask me for help, and they shall receive.
I wouldn't say no to my friends, as I am afraid that rejecting others may cause them to dislike me.

As time pass by slowly, I realize that I am desperately seeking approval from others and helping them at the same time. No matter how crazy their needs are, I will always be the one who nod my head and help as much as I can. Even though sometimes when I feel exhausted or not appreciated, I still continue to help.

Recalling back my secondary school years, there are some people that just went too over.
That time, one of my friends asked me to borrow him my homework, and I said no. And guess what he did? He snatch the book from me and almost teared the book into half. I was very angry at that moment, but he was pretending that I was joking.  He didn't know he had already crossed the line. Maybe because I had borrowed him my homework for about 6 months continuously without saying no for even once? I did scold that person out loud, but he didn't even take me seriously. And that's when I realize being too nice of a person is not a good choice in some situations.

What I experienced few years ago was not really pleasant, but those experiences had made me realize that being just nice is good enough. Being too nice/too generous to others, and then you need to prepare to suffer the consequences. At least this is the lesson that I learnt from my own life experiences.

From that incident earlier, I have actually learnt to say no to some people who are in need of my help. (*usually things that are beyond my capabilities or when the other person is demanding too much)

Sometimes others may think that someone is selfish, but for me, I don't think we can really label anyone as selfish.(apply to certain life scenarios)

E.G.
A and B were given a report to do from their lecturers.
A spent about 10 hours during the weekends to finish the report, while B spent the weekends doing nothing. Just one day before due date, B asked A to send him the report, since B say to A that he doesn't have time to finish it and he doesn't know how to do.

So if you were A, will you send B the report?
If A didn't send the report, is he selfish?
If you would say A is selfish, then don't you think B is selfish too?

B did not put a single ounce of effort into doing the report and expect A to send the entire report for him to copy. B is selfish, because he only thinks about himself and he didn't really consider all the free time A has sacrificed to do the report. It's rather unfair to A. If you were A, how would you feel?
And I strongly believe that if A did send the report to B this time, next time when there is more assignments to do,B definitely is going to ask for more reports from A.
So I recommend A not to send B the report.

A might think that B is selfish.
B might think that A is selfish.

This is just my personal opinion. You can agree or disagree with what I say. =)
How about you? Who do you think is selfish in the situation given above?

I am not saying that we should be selfish. But set your boundaries and never let anyone cross it!!

Say yes all the time is not going to make others like you and say no once in a while doesn't mean that you are selfish!
Its when you know how to stand up for yourselves, you make yourself more likeable and respected by others.

Cheers. =D