Being quiet

This post may be a little personal.
I still choose to bring it up, as I hope that anyone else who are also dealing with this issue know that they are not alone.

Its so easy to form judgments on someone or some things that we don't know. 
Some people do not put themselves in other people's shoe before starting to judge them.
I am quiet and I am being backstabbed or talked badly by others many times.
Some of the backstab comments I heard from my friends who are involved in the "gossip":
Lol.. He doesnt care for his friends, always act emo.
Who does he think he is, being quiet and hoping others to approach him all the time.
Everyday so sien la being with him, not fun at all.
Always look serious. =="
He lives in his own world all the time, dont care about him la, let him emo.

I am a quiet person most of the time. And it does not serve me any good. And I feel really uncomfortable hearing all those bad commnets about me which are not true. I care for my friends and definitely like any other human beings would like to have fun going out with friends. It's just that I am so getting used to being quiet that it's hard to change even If I wanted to. It's just like having a job that you want to quit because you suffered from too much workload, but still stay in the job just to get that monthly salary.

The most quiet person often have the loudest mind. Its so true. I have so much in my mind that sometimes I just couldn't say anything at all, so I completely shut down my mind when it comes to communicating in a group. As I have so many things in my mind, when I am given a chance to talk one on one, then its a whole new scenario. I would be talking like non-stop. And being with one person at a time allows me to feel more at ease and connected to the person. And I can literally talk for hours if the other person doesn't mind. Haha feel like bragging here. I talked to a random stranger for a period of 7-8hours before. And from this scenario, I know that I like to talk/listen to people and I don't enjoy being quiet. And I am sure that many introverts may experience this too. Needing some solitude time, but still likes to communicate with friends a lot.

I have always feel bad almost my entire life being a quiet person. But now I have come to accept it.
Being quiet is really alright, because you are not doing anything bad. Some people might say super nasty stuffs about you and take advantage of you, as you may seem not to have any opinion all the time. It's alright. All of these will pass. 5 years from now on, you will be thinking back and realizing that these are all part of your learning of life.
You just have to find the right group of friends/ best friends that understand you for who you are. :D

Real friends

I am not sure if u meet someone that can act like your friend, but he or she is talking badly about you behind your back. Or maybe taking advantage of you all the time n not care about your feelings. And the worse thing is they can make you trust them like a best friend n after you share your secret with them, they will go spread around whatever you say.
It hurts to have friends like these. You wonder what have you done to deserve this.

I think if someone is truly your friend,they would take time to talk to u, listen to u n also try to understand you, help you whenever u need help n don't expect anything much in return.
They will hope that you achieve your dreams.
They don't mind even if you get better than them in some areas of life, they will be your greatest cheerleader n be happy for what you have achieved.
They will not leave you,  because you couldn't entertain them n make them laugh or have fun.
They will be brutally honest to you and won't keep a secret from you.
They are happy when they are around you and wish to share their life with you and hoping you will share your life with them too.  That's what I think real friends really do.

As for fake friends, they have none of the characteridtics above. It is quite easy to detect those friends. You will know it somehow. And when you find out, dont be too sad about your loss. It is better to be alone than being with a bunch of friends that are going to make you feel like you are useless and unworthy. Beware!! sometimes they can even crush your dreams.

Life is so short, don't spend it with people who pulls you down, spend it with people who motivates you, encourages you and makes you feel  alive, being appreciated and loved.

Everyone deserves to have a best friend, someone to walk through this journey of life besides our beloved family.

If you don't have,  reach out,
if you still don't find one, reach out even more. =)

Will you share your secrets with others?

If you have a secret, would you consider to share it with someone else or just keep it to yourself?
Most of us, if we are in our 20s/ >20, would probably have shared some of our secrets with our family and friends. And only to realize that in the end, the secrets are being spread like wild fire in the forest. (at least this is what happened in my life)

Sometimes we want to trust others, but past experience of being betrayed just haunts us and makes us choose to hide some parts of our true self. Some people may say what is the big deal about others knowing about your secret. Just don't care about what others think. It is easy to say something like this, but it is a whole new situation when you are being judged and consistently put down by others verbally, sometimes even physically.

Will sharing secrets help people to feel more connected with the other person and have more of a genuine relationship/friendship?
Or will it just tears people apart in the end when the friend whom we trusted "accidentally" tell some other friends about the secret we shared?
Or sharing secrets between one another have no effect at all in a relationship?
Something worth spending time to think about. =D

For me, when I share secrets with others, I am already prepared for the secrets to be spread around.
So that when it does happen, I would not feel so bad about it.
Okay, there may be some people who can zip their mouths really tightly and keep your secrets well, but those people are like legendary pokemon, super rare. You are lucky if you have friends/family like these. =X

Why do you want to share your secrets? (to vent out your suppressed emotions?)
What will happen if you share it out? (you may feel much lighter. And the interaction with the other person will feel much more open./ there is a chance of another party knowing about your secret)
Is it really necessary to do so? (will telling others that you love someone secretly helps? - okay maybe. because they can be your loveguru.)
I would ask myself 1000000 more questions, so usually I don't share my secrets in the end. lol!
(The good part: It saves you from being judged harshly by others who wants you to be a certain way.)
Some secrets are best kept within yourself. No one else needs to know about it!


Anyway if you like to share your secret, share your secret at your own risk. =D